On Surrender and Authenticity
On Surrender and Authenticity
Last year was one of deep soul searching and longing for an expansiveness i could imagine and recall, but not find. i felt so absolutely and completely squeezed; pushed to hurry and unable to breathe most of the time. My acupuncturist poeticized on how the liver rebels against pressure and restriction. Oh, could i count all the life restrictions i was wearing that didn’t fit. Somewhere, i’d shrunk and settled and not noticed, because we tend to morph and adapt slowly over time. Clearly, i had to reorganize my home and life, because there was no place energetically for me. The fullness wasn’t serving.
What an odd and desperate realization to have.
To the yogini whose very being has merged with the Yogic path, all Yogic Truths and guidelines (eg: “Yamas” and “Niyamas”) are indispensable, because then life aligns for us. Relationship matters – with our body, practice, work and life. Yoga builds and strengthens our inner relationship, and refines our nervous system with subtle awareness. We sense intrinsic connections between matter and space – people and their environments – as a palpable web. In crowds, we feel everyone’s worry, fear and pain as weight bearing down; and the whole field of muddled emotions flares like static in our brains. The light people comment they see around us comes from intentional vibrational practices to clear and harmonize our inner space. In Yoga, “Saucha” is the first moral consideration, or Yama. Saucha is purity, on all levels. We cultivate purity within so that we can project hope, joy and purity out.
Last year when my technology suddenly failed for several weeks, the frustration finally became so intense, i had to surrender. When our best efforts at resolution repeatedly reach dead ends, eventually we understand we have to wait. Those roads are closed. So i fixed and reorganized the storm-drenched parts of the house; and prepared to begin again. Transformation requires deceleration, and i know i am being completely reconstructed and changed. We have to slow down, in order to switch direction and gain new ground. We are all being asked, or rather forced, into self-transformation. Every day obstacles interfere and slow us down, but speeding willfully ahead sooner or later blows us far off course; so we adapt and learn to wait; The restlessness is never easy to face. Nor are the profound emotions of grief and loss at being torn away from who you are and how you’ve shown up in your life until now, even for the promise of a better place. As we drink in the quiet moments, we begin to heal. In stillness and silence, our nervous system is calmed and reset.
We know our thoughts flow better when we meditate, and our clarity influences our environment and relationships too. Through acceptance and surrender, my agitation finally lessened, and new creativity vibrantly dawns. Still, the process of self-transformation is arduous and undefined, and there are many days of emptiness and self-doubt. Once the ship leaves dock for open seas, the vastness of infinity looms and closes in. So we just continue to show up and practice deeply every day. Gifts come to us with each step we take into a softer, wider perspective and a more self-reflective, intuitive and inspired life. i surrender to all this, to be completely changed. Now, i also understand it will take as long as it takes.
i’m writing my books and manuals now, so i can travel to teach and speak. Modern medicine needs a facelift, brain surgery, and a heart transplant. That will happen quickly once we take back our power to heal ourselves…Once we merge back into the magic of our own magnificence… Once we give our full potential a chance to shine. The world is totally ready for Quantum Evolutionary Healing (SM). The time is now. My clients salute my courage, support my vision, and bounce right along. Meanwhile, they are also shining examples of alignment and self-repair; the first to be Certified in QEH level one: Structural Self-Correction. They adjust their own alignment and joint range of motion, and free up their own stiffness and pain. With Structural Yoga priming the evolutionary pump, the future of medicine looks brighter than it ever did.
Although my work and unique approach pour forth differently than just a few months ago, in many ways, essentially nothing has changed. i can’t explain. Yoga draws us to dance with the Great Mystery, where nothing can be explained.
To honor our values in a world of aggression, judgment and deceit requires daily self-examination. Our own life circumstances may even push us to the brink. Can we return to compassion, and remain fair and gentle in our hearts? Then Yoga will meet us, court us, and sweep us endlessly off our feet…
*Yamas and Niyamas are Yogic precepts for how to live in peace. They are lifestyle observances like the ten Commandments that help life flow and make us gentle medicine for the world. The 5 Yamas are thoughts on living respectfully in the world:
Ahimsa – kindness; Satya – truth; Asteya – not stealing; Aparigraha – not hoarding; Brahmacharya – mindful relationship. The 5 Niyamas suggest how to master ourselves:
Saucha – purity; Santosha – contentment; Tapas – inspiration; Sva-Dhyaya – self-reflection; Ishvara—Pranidana – spiritual connection.